This is just a funny picture Sophie's ninong Jace took when he came over to visit us. Sophie had only seen him two other times in the past, so was a bit shy and wary of him at the beginning. She also was afraid of the huge black apparatus (read: camera) that her ninong was pointing at her. But she soon warmed up, especially after ninong handed her a pretty pair of earrings as a present :)

ENJOYING THE POOP

Being a mom isn't all a dreamy haze of baby kisses, cuddling, and giggles...there are sleepness nights, bouts with the cold and fever, crying spells and yes, poop. Lots of it. Stinky, smelly, drippy, with colors ranging from bright yellow to mustard to dark green. Sometimes watery, sometimes the consistency of mashed potato (think green mashed potato), sometimes solid and just like an adult's. (Gross huh?) All spread out on your baby's bottom. And there's no one else to - or who should - clean it up but you.

I was seven years old when my baby brother Regis was born. I remember watching in disgust as my mother would clean my brother's bottom. At that time it seemed unfathomable to me how she could stand it. And when she would ask me to throw away the soiled diaper, I would hold my breath and hold the diaper as far from my face as possible, rush to the trash can, drop the diaper, and evacuate the stinky site as fast as I could while finally gasping for breath. I thought to myself that I would love to be a mom someday, but cringed and went faint at the thought of cleaning the poop. Oh God. Sure, I wanted to be a mom someday. But spare me the poop.

Amazingly, changing Sophie's diaper and washing her up is one of my favorite things to do. I laugh whenever I see her go completely still and wear her "pooping face" - a face where she looks extremely serious and very, very queasy. It makes my heart melt when I lie her down on the changing mat and she looks at me with eyes that are both grateful and beseeching, as if she wanted to say "Mom, please get that strange icky stuff off of me!" I find it hilarious that when I take off the adhesives of her diaper, she wrinkles her nose and lets out a disgusted yelp, oblivious to the fact that she was the source of the foul stench. And then she starts singing and waving while I wash her bottom. And when I'd change her back into a brand new diaper, she's be back to her sparkling personality, with a new lease on life, free from all the poop that bogged her down.

And perhaps that is my job as her parent. To take away the all the ugly and bad things that may bog her down. To do my best to dispel her gloom, to wipe away her tears, to help her get over the things she is afraid of. Parenting won't be charmed all the time and there are other things that I'm queasy about, such as disciplining her and going through her adolescence (the thought already sends chills down my spine), but the hardships are part and parcel of the great joy I possess for being her parent. I will face and tackle the hard part with strength, resolve, and joy. Because without the hard part, I wouldn't fully and truly be her mother.

So right now, I'm enjoying the poop.

SOPHIE UPDATE

It's been a while since I've been able to update this blog...it's been a crazy month and half. Joined a reality show (something I thought I'd NEVER do. Oh well. Never say never!), got casted in two independent films, started rehearsing Alice in Wonderland and The Grouchy Ladybug, and watched my little wonder girl grow by leaps and bounds. She is a person now and not just my baby girl anymore, with an emerging personality and a growing intelligence. Here are some updates in her exciting development!

1. She can say several words already. Mama and Papa, hi, bye, cat, car, apple, carpet, fish (She says peesh. Haha. We'll work on diction when she gets older), bird, whale, up, baby, bear. Two new words she learned this Halloween season are pumpkin and spider.

2. The other day she got hold of my powder compact and said, "Opie." (Open) As soon as her request was granted, she dabbed the puff on the powder and patted the puff against her cheek. She then looked at herself in the mirror and smiled in satisfaction.

3. While playing in her playpen, she grabbed hold of a shiny red ball, said "apple" then proceeded to take a bite.

4. As soon as she hears the sound of an airplane, she whispers "airplay" and edges toward the window. Once the airplane is in sight she will wave her hand and say "Bye airplay!"

5. Can dance ballet. Upon hearing the words "Sophie, ballet!" will then raise her hands above her head and twirl around.

6. Can dance hiphop as well. Upon hearing the words "Sophie, dance!" will shake her bottom up and down and side to side, then bob her head up and down.

7. Can feed herself finger food.

8. Sophie loves her warm bottle of milk. When shown her bottle, her entire face will light up and she will reverently whisper "dede...dede...dede" while making a beeline for the blessed bottle.

9. Can start her own peek-a-boo game. When she wants to do this, she will suddenly retreat to a corner where she can't be seen. After a few seconds she will take a peek and with a big happy smile on her face, will then say "Ba!"

10. Is so friendly and sociable! When eating out, she never fails to charm waiters and the people seated next to us by waving her hands and making her funny face: she will scrunch up her nose, squint her eyes, and breathe in repeatedly and noisily through her nostrils. It's a veritable crowd pleaser.

What can I say? I've got a precious, amazing, incredibly special little squirt :) I'm the world's luckiest mom.